A lot of people say they didn’t really know what love was until they became a parent and that is certainly true for many of us. But the same can be said about fear.
One of the most terrifying fears: What if someone wants to harm my child purposely? What will I as a parent be able to do to prevent it?
The truth is, there are people who prey on children.
Emergency room physician Betty Kuffel offers some well-researched tips for parents and others about spotting child predators. Kuffel worked in a Great Falls ER when Nathanael Bar-Jonah was arrested in connection with the disappearance of Zachary Ramsay, who was 10 when he disappeared in 1996.
http://liarcatchers.com/pedophile_tracking.html
Bar-Jonah was not convicted in that crime, but he was put on trial for molestation and assault against other boys in his Great Falls neighborhood. He died in prison serving a sentence for those crimes.
Kuffel’s book about the Bar-Jonah, “Eyes of a Pedophile: Detecting Child Predators,” was recently released.
She worked with law enforcement and interviewed Bar-Jonah to research her book. He gave her written permission to review all the defense material.
In her author’s note, Kuffel wrote she wanted to educate people about child predators.
“I have seen terror in the eyes of innocent children raped by pedophiles …” Kuffel writes. “I hope the information opens eyes and minds to the importance of reporting and prosecuting pedophiles. If it saves even one from harm, my time has been well spent.”
Pedophiles are most often people you know and trust.
Men who especially like to tickle, wrestle or otherwise touch children, who want to take children to situations where they will be isolated are especially suspect.
Former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky was convicted last month of 45 cases of sexually abusing teen boys.
At the trial, an accuser identified as Victim 6 testified that Sandusky described himself as a “tickle monster” and embraced the then-11-year-old boy in a Penn State shower in 1998.
Police Officer Mark Gado of New Rochelle, N.Y., compiled common traits of pedophiles.
» The molester is often a family member or someone well-known to the family.
» Be suspicious if someone is paying unusual attention to your child.
» Child molesters are commonly live-in boyfriends and babysitters.
Kuffel offers the following tips for protecting children:
» NEVER let your children walk or bicycle alone.
» Tell your children it is OK to say “No!” to any adult.
» Remember the helpful-policeman guise is commonly used by abductors.
» Instruct your children to stay away from vehicles parked along the sidewalk or road.
» If someone actually grabs them, the child should fight to get away: kick, scream and bite. Teach them to yell loudly “This is not my parent!”
» Watch for behavior changes such as acting out, showing fear, avoiding a certain adult, bed-wetting after a child has been dry, behavior with sexual overtones or avoidance of touching.
» Be wary of Internet dating; the date may be targeting your child.
» Monitor children’s Internet activity.
Bar-Jonah, then named David Brown, spent years in prison and a mental institution for assaults and sexual abuse against children in Massachusetts. His family hired two therapists who contradicted the state counselors and said he was cured.
Bar-Jonah then moved to Montana.
At the Sandusky trial, Victim 6 said the shared shower happened after a brief workout at a campus gym, even though he hadn’t broken a sweat. His mother went to authorities when she saw her son come home with wet hair, although the inquiry spawned by her report didn’t lead to any charges.
But don’t let examples like that discourage you if you suspect a child is being molested.
“If you know of or suspect abuse, it’s essential you report it to both law enforcement and child protective services. It’s better to investigate than to allow another child to be harmed,” Kuffel said.
