When Linda Archie calls her daughter’s cellphone, she prays she’ll hear her voice.
Maybe Bene’ will say she needed to get away. Or that she went on an adventure with a friend.
Whatever the reason, Archie wouldn’t mind.
“We’re a family,” she said. “She is loved by her family, and we want her back.”
Kathryn Bene’ Griffin disappeared on Jan. 7. Her former boyfriend saw her at his Portsmouth barbershop. She borrowed his bicycle, he said, then pedaled away.
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Griffin’s life had been troubled, her mother said. In the early ’90s, she had an 11-month-old son who died. She served time on a drug charge and probation violations.
Her mother took in two of her children and encouraged her daughter to make some changes.
At Thanksgiving, the two women talked about the future. Griffin said she liked to style hair. Her mother told her she should get her barber’s license.
Archie recalled the last time she saw her daughter, a few days before she went missing.
She had taken the children to Perry’s Cutz, the barbershop where Griffin often helped her former boyfriend. The children ran inside and embraced their mom. Griffin gave them each $5 and took them across the street to a store. When it was time for them to leave, she hugged them and made sure they put on their seat belts.
“Bene’ was a good girl,” Archie said, then she caught herself. “I don’t want to say ‘was’; that’s past tense.”
More than 600 people were reported missing in Portsmouth last year, said Detective Jan Westerbeck, Portsmouth police spokeswoman.
In Virginia Beach, the number was 1,934.
Most are runaways, some located by police and returned to families. Some are adults. They tell police they forgot to call their families or lost track of time. Some just wanted to leave a spouse or stressful situation.
“It’s not against the law to walk away from your life,” said James Thomas, a police detective in Chesapeake, where 161 were reported missing last year. “People over the age of 18 can come and go as they please.”
For families, the not knowing is the worst part, said Virginia Beach police Detective Angela Murphy. “They just don’t know, and they don’t know what to feel.”
To track down the missing, police generally follow a process that begins with determining the person’s age and whether he or she is in danger because of an abduction or mental disability, such as dementia. For an endangered missing person, a search is immediate.
If a person is not in danger, detectives follow leads and conduct interviews.
The process can be frustrating.
Cases aren’t solved the way they are on TV, Murphy said. On TV, police track the missing in minutes using a cellphone’s GPS or other technology. In real life, detectives must have a court order to do so, Murphy said.
Citizens also think they have to wait before reporting a disappearance.
“I’ll ask them, ‘Why did you wait two days?’ ” said Chesapeake’s Thomas. “They say they thought they had to wait 24 hours.”
He said police will take a report about a disappearance any time, from anyone.
Sometimes, despite weeks, months or even years of investigating, the trail to a missing person grows cold.
“After a while, they either have to accept the fact that they are not going to find their loved one,” Murphy said. “Or in their mind, that the person is alive and I’m never going to see them again … or they are dead.”
Archie has gotten calls from friends and family offering support and kind words, but none with information about her daughter.
Police divers searched waterways for Griffin. Officers with dogs have taken to fields and wooded areas. Detectives have gotten some leads, according to Westerbeck, who said the investigation is open and she couldn’t provide details.
“Every day, I pray for us,” Archie said. “I pray that wherever my daughter is, the Lord is looking after her and will touch her mind.”
She and her sons have made fliers that are posted in businesses near the barber shop. They offered a $500 reward for information that leads to Griffin. Her former boyfriend put up a flier in the window of his shop. William Perry Jr. said he has talked with police, too, and recommended they talk with Griffin’s acquaintances.
Archie ponders the milestones Griffin has missed, including her 44th birthday. She wondered recently whether Griffin would return in time to attend a scholastic banquet at school with Wilmesha, 10, and William, 8.
The children have asked about their mom. Archie answers carefully.
“They understand what Heaven is.”
As she continued, she began to cry. Wilmesha and William piled on top of her and made her laugh.
“It’s all right, Grandmamma,” they said. “It’s all right.”
“I just can’t see her going somewhere this long and not calling me,” Archie said. “She was very close to me. I know she loves her children.”
